Our adopted team in Texas: Adam, Pierce, Missy and Chris, With the best Pais Team: Me, Robin and Jess! I think we make a good extended team and the Texan guys are amazing, crazy, funny and inspirational. We are privileged to be connected with them this yea
So My first week with the team - Vision Week, went well. Because of the nice weather we spent most of the time out of the office, sharing testimonies at the beach, dreaming in the park and praying over the city from Grouse Mountain. The city was so clear and beautiful from the top of Grouse, my heat was beating rapidly and I just wanted to cry out foe the lost and broken people - I had to restrain myself otherwise I would have gotten some very strange looks! There's something about Vancouver, the beauty of the mountains and the sea, maybe the people :P that captures my heart. My cry at training was for God to break my heart for his people, and his city and I think he's doing that...scary.
As much as Canadians might think I prefer England, they are much mistaken, I would be quite happy never to live there again. I might seem loyal to England because I like the chocolate, the marmite, and other great foods and support the Rugby team with vengeance. BUT I love Canada and all it brings. I think maybe I got/get so hooked or seemingly so on English things is because Im scared to truly allow Canada to penetrate my heart and my very being. Im now allowing my self to be equipped to fight for His Kingdom, His Heart, His Nation and His People. And part of that is learning to trust other people with myself. Robin did a devotion on trust while in Texas and he got us to lean back and trust someone was going to catch us the standard trust building task, yet I felt way out of my comfort zone, like a fish out of water, and didn't quite know what to do with myself.
Before I left for England in the summer God started to bring up some hidden things and break down walls and barriers which I had put up in my own life, because of experiences. I felt so out of control, not knowing what was happening or where it was going, and was scared for the change that seemed inevitable not caring that it would be good change. I stumbled about, keeping the 'brave' face on for all and everyone to see, unless I was around tom, and for some reason God allowed Him to see into my life and for me to open up somewhat to him. I flew off to England with a heavy heart knowing something would explode from inside of me at some point, so to save myself from this and to stop this happening I created new and stronger walls around myself, not allowing anyone to get anywhere near me and retreating into 'me'. Now Im not to sure where I am , what I am doing, How I am going get there and how the heck to overcome the crap I have piled up around me..watch this space.
However I have become more certain that I have a calling and God wants to use me and my story, that he will sort out the past and present and the future...
Trusting in God isn't always easy especially when He's having a good old chuckle at you! Which I swear He was doing when the banks gave me hassle again!
jim xox
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