I took this from Bethany...I like it...
“Don’t be fooled by me. Don’t be fooled by the face I wear. I wear a mask.
I wear a thousand masks-masks that I am afraid to take off; and none of them are me. Pretending is an art that is second nature to me. But don’t be fooled for my sake, please don’t be fooled.
I give the impression that I am secure, that all is sunny and unruffled within me as well as without; that confidence is my name and coolness is my game. That the water is calm and I am in command; that I need no one. But please don’t believe me, please. My surface may seem smooth, but my surface is a mask, my ever changing and ever concealing mask.
WHO AM I, you may wonder? I am someone you know very well. I am every man you meet. I am every woman you meet. I am right in front of you. In truth, I probably am you”
Charles C. Finn
Tuesday, October 30, 2007
Monday, October 22, 2007
update
hi random humans!
sorry i have been so slacking on updates sine i have been back in vancouver, life has been crazy as always and i never seem to have too much time!
the schools work is amazing, we have the friday games mini, Robin is really connecting with the guys and Jess and I have plenty of opportunities to really connect with new shy girls, who are really starting to com out of their shell. We have also just started working in Bayview Elementary, working with gifted students to make films and do other projects on tuesdays lunch times. we get to work with the principal which is fab. Robin and Jess are great :) like any Pais team, we struggle with resources, so if you feel that you would like to contribute to the work we are doing in schools please e-mail me.
Pais has just helped run a conference called Campus Fire, the westside team where in volunteers and it was fun but hard work! we met some amazing young people and christian leaders and artists.
life is good even though the weather has turned more to rain, and we finally have our pais tee-shirts and hoodies! :)
ok my brain is stopping.. if you have any questions just ask..
prayer requests:
1. for the students in the schools
2. leadership guidance
3. strength
4. money for the team and myself
sorry i have been so slacking on updates sine i have been back in vancouver, life has been crazy as always and i never seem to have too much time!
the schools work is amazing, we have the friday games mini, Robin is really connecting with the guys and Jess and I have plenty of opportunities to really connect with new shy girls, who are really starting to com out of their shell. We have also just started working in Bayview Elementary, working with gifted students to make films and do other projects on tuesdays lunch times. we get to work with the principal which is fab. Robin and Jess are great :) like any Pais team, we struggle with resources, so if you feel that you would like to contribute to the work we are doing in schools please e-mail me.
Pais has just helped run a conference called Campus Fire, the westside team where in volunteers and it was fun but hard work! we met some amazing young people and christian leaders and artists.
life is good even though the weather has turned more to rain, and we finally have our pais tee-shirts and hoodies! :)
ok my brain is stopping.. if you have any questions just ask..
prayer requests:
1. for the students in the schools
2. leadership guidance
3. strength
4. money for the team and myself
Monday, October 01, 2007
love.. what is it?
rainbow bridges... funny... one evening at C4 over the summer, during worship I really felt a lyric we had sung at resonate (Pais Leadership Training) stick in my mind:
I CHOSE TO STAND FOR MY GENERATION
We can sing these words but do we really mean it? What does it mean to stand on behalf of your generation? How much am I willing to sacrifice to see my friends and family come into the Kingdom of God? How much of my heart am I am willing to give to the cause?
Anyway from that I started drawing - which is crazy cos Im rubbish - I drew a bridge, a rainbow bridge, with water running to the cross. I didn't think that much of it, other than a cool picture, yet when we had a 'Ben Woodman' day - pastoral care, and it transpired that Tabea - a first year intern from Germany and an awesome gal, had a picture of a rainbow bridge also. I wonder what this means?
what is love? how can we show it? what does it truly mean...
'you care so much about someone that you do something for then regardless of how you feel, you care about someone regardless of what they do' jen lockwood :)
jesus love he accepts us for who we are - unconditionally its not about what i do but who i am
love is... crazy. vulnerable, scary and some times unseen
....caring for who another person is regardless of what they do
so how do you stop yourself from loving someone? do we do it without knowing so or are even aware? how long does it take for the barriers to go up.. theres so many people in my life who i know i should love but yet i have no or little feeling for, and whose fault is this.. mine or there's.. lets say its mine, because any guesses it would a heart issue, but then how did that issue occur, when did the cycle start and how to break it, with out bringing up all the dirt and filth and watching my heart splatter everywhere
but then heart splattering every where could be cool.. like a little piece of who i am infiltrating and mucking up the surrounding area - hopefully for good.
I CHOSE TO STAND FOR MY GENERATION
We can sing these words but do we really mean it? What does it mean to stand on behalf of your generation? How much am I willing to sacrifice to see my friends and family come into the Kingdom of God? How much of my heart am I am willing to give to the cause?
Anyway from that I started drawing - which is crazy cos Im rubbish - I drew a bridge, a rainbow bridge, with water running to the cross. I didn't think that much of it, other than a cool picture, yet when we had a 'Ben Woodman' day - pastoral care, and it transpired that Tabea - a first year intern from Germany and an awesome gal, had a picture of a rainbow bridge also. I wonder what this means?
what is love? how can we show it? what does it truly mean...
'you care so much about someone that you do something for then regardless of how you feel, you care about someone regardless of what they do' jen lockwood :)
jesus love he accepts us for who we are - unconditionally its not about what i do but who i am
love is... crazy. vulnerable, scary and some times unseen
....caring for who another person is regardless of what they do
so how do you stop yourself from loving someone? do we do it without knowing so or are even aware? how long does it take for the barriers to go up.. theres so many people in my life who i know i should love but yet i have no or little feeling for, and whose fault is this.. mine or there's.. lets say its mine, because any guesses it would a heart issue, but then how did that issue occur, when did the cycle start and how to break it, with out bringing up all the dirt and filth and watching my heart splatter everywhere
but then heart splattering every where could be cool.. like a little piece of who i am infiltrating and mucking up the surrounding area - hopefully for good.
Monday, September 17, 2007
Introducing... Robin and Jess
My wonderful team Robin and Jess after being commissioned in Texas. We are ready to hit Vancouver and shock the nationals. We look amazing because we are all dressed up! In the loo's no less! ha! We believe this photo captures the very essence of the team and indicates of many good laughs to come!
Our adopted team in Texas: Adam, Pierce, Missy and Chris, With the best Pais Team: Me, Robin and Jess! I think we make a good extended team and the Texan guys are amazing, crazy, funny and inspirational. We are privileged to be connected with them this yea
So My first week with the team - Vision Week, went well. Because of the nice weather we spent most of the time out of the office, sharing testimonies at the beach, dreaming in the park and praying over the city from Grouse Mountain. The city was so clear and beautiful from the top of Grouse, my heat was beating rapidly and I just wanted to cry out foe the lost and broken people - I had to restrain myself otherwise I would have gotten some very strange looks! There's something about Vancouver, the beauty of the mountains and the sea, maybe the people :P that captures my heart. My cry at training was for God to break my heart for his people, and his city and I think he's doing that...scary.
As much as Canadians might think I prefer England, they are much mistaken, I would be quite happy never to live there again. I might seem loyal to England because I like the chocolate, the marmite, and other great foods and support the Rugby team with vengeance. BUT I love Canada and all it brings. I think maybe I got/get so hooked or seemingly so on English things is because Im scared to truly allow Canada to penetrate my heart and my very being. Im now allowing my self to be equipped to fight for His Kingdom, His Heart, His Nation and His People. And part of that is learning to trust other people with myself. Robin did a devotion on trust while in Texas and he got us to lean back and trust someone was going to catch us the standard trust building task, yet I felt way out of my comfort zone, like a fish out of water, and didn't quite know what to do with myself.
Before I left for England in the summer God started to bring up some hidden things and break down walls and barriers which I had put up in my own life, because of experiences. I felt so out of control, not knowing what was happening or where it was going, and was scared for the change that seemed inevitable not caring that it would be good change. I stumbled about, keeping the 'brave' face on for all and everyone to see, unless I was around tom, and for some reason God allowed Him to see into my life and for me to open up somewhat to him. I flew off to England with a heavy heart knowing something would explode from inside of me at some point, so to save myself from this and to stop this happening I created new and stronger walls around myself, not allowing anyone to get anywhere near me and retreating into 'me'. Now Im not to sure where I am , what I am doing, How I am going get there and how the heck to overcome the crap I have piled up around me..watch this space.
However I have become more certain that I have a calling and God wants to use me and my story, that he will sort out the past and present and the future...
Trusting in God isn't always easy especially when He's having a good old chuckle at you! Which I swear He was doing when the banks gave me hassle again!
jim xox
Our adopted team in Texas: Adam, Pierce, Missy and Chris, With the best Pais Team: Me, Robin and Jess! I think we make a good extended team and the Texan guys are amazing, crazy, funny and inspirational. We are privileged to be connected with them this yea
So My first week with the team - Vision Week, went well. Because of the nice weather we spent most of the time out of the office, sharing testimonies at the beach, dreaming in the park and praying over the city from Grouse Mountain. The city was so clear and beautiful from the top of Grouse, my heat was beating rapidly and I just wanted to cry out foe the lost and broken people - I had to restrain myself otherwise I would have gotten some very strange looks! There's something about Vancouver, the beauty of the mountains and the sea, maybe the people :P that captures my heart. My cry at training was for God to break my heart for his people, and his city and I think he's doing that...scary.
As much as Canadians might think I prefer England, they are much mistaken, I would be quite happy never to live there again. I might seem loyal to England because I like the chocolate, the marmite, and other great foods and support the Rugby team with vengeance. BUT I love Canada and all it brings. I think maybe I got/get so hooked or seemingly so on English things is because Im scared to truly allow Canada to penetrate my heart and my very being. Im now allowing my self to be equipped to fight for His Kingdom, His Heart, His Nation and His People. And part of that is learning to trust other people with myself. Robin did a devotion on trust while in Texas and he got us to lean back and trust someone was going to catch us the standard trust building task, yet I felt way out of my comfort zone, like a fish out of water, and didn't quite know what to do with myself.
Before I left for England in the summer God started to bring up some hidden things and break down walls and barriers which I had put up in my own life, because of experiences. I felt so out of control, not knowing what was happening or where it was going, and was scared for the change that seemed inevitable not caring that it would be good change. I stumbled about, keeping the 'brave' face on for all and everyone to see, unless I was around tom, and for some reason God allowed Him to see into my life and for me to open up somewhat to him. I flew off to England with a heavy heart knowing something would explode from inside of me at some point, so to save myself from this and to stop this happening I created new and stronger walls around myself, not allowing anyone to get anywhere near me and retreating into 'me'. Now Im not to sure where I am , what I am doing, How I am going get there and how the heck to overcome the crap I have piled up around me..watch this space.
However I have become more certain that I have a calling and God wants to use me and my story, that he will sort out the past and present and the future...
Trusting in God isn't always easy especially when He's having a good old chuckle at you! Which I swear He was doing when the banks gave me hassle again!
jim xox
Wednesday, September 05, 2007
Training, Leadership, Vancouver and Texas
Hi!
Im sorry for the lack of communication over the summer months, and in the past 3 weeks.
I am back on Pais::Canada for a second year, and I am now an Area Leader. I have two fantastic team members Robin and Jess. Robin in German and Jess is English, so we have a cultural mix!
It seems crazy to think that a year has past already, but I am excited for this year and what God has in store for me as a person, for the team and the department. I am lucky enough to be staying at PGCC with the amazing tom!
Training in Texas was great, hearing the Kingdom Princples again and learning new things about Leadership and how to be effective and intentional in ministry. It was great to be with the USA department, see old friends and make new ones. My team has 'Adopted' Adam team down at Pantego - the church where training was based. I got to stay with Crains again, and meet Brandon the newest arrival, I loved being there, they are like a second family, and really welcomed me into their home - they even hid presents in my suitcase - hint hint mum and dad - and brought me oreo cakesters! But the best thing about texas was flying first class to newark - now my dad has treated me once, he wont get away with me flying coach anymore! the worst thing was either Pierce eating a pickles pigs trotter OR my angel calling me a monkey...ask if you want to know the story..
So now Im in Vancouver we are doing cultural training at the moment which is excellent, and then next week we have Vision Week in our teams. Im staying with a great family the Carbols - there are 9 of us in the house - they have 4 kids and are legal guardians of 2 others, so its just like being at home. I have a big room in the basement, and share a bathroom with Sarah, we also have our own tv and snooker table! and they have a kitchen almost like at home in the uk, but they dont have an aga!!
If you want to send goodies or presents or even letters send to:
Dame Rosie Honeywell
4093 w29 Ave,
Vancouver, BC,
V6S 1V4
telephone: 604-222-9550
e-mail: rosie@pgcc.org
Please pray for me for strength and wisedom as well as finances for myself and the team as we start this year.
Im sorry for the lack of communication over the summer months, and in the past 3 weeks.
I am back on Pais::Canada for a second year, and I am now an Area Leader. I have two fantastic team members Robin and Jess. Robin in German and Jess is English, so we have a cultural mix!
It seems crazy to think that a year has past already, but I am excited for this year and what God has in store for me as a person, for the team and the department. I am lucky enough to be staying at PGCC with the amazing tom!
Training in Texas was great, hearing the Kingdom Princples again and learning new things about Leadership and how to be effective and intentional in ministry. It was great to be with the USA department, see old friends and make new ones. My team has 'Adopted' Adam team down at Pantego - the church where training was based. I got to stay with Crains again, and meet Brandon the newest arrival, I loved being there, they are like a second family, and really welcomed me into their home - they even hid presents in my suitcase - hint hint mum and dad - and brought me oreo cakesters! But the best thing about texas was flying first class to newark - now my dad has treated me once, he wont get away with me flying coach anymore! the worst thing was either Pierce eating a pickles pigs trotter OR my angel calling me a monkey...ask if you want to know the story..
So now Im in Vancouver we are doing cultural training at the moment which is excellent, and then next week we have Vision Week in our teams. Im staying with a great family the Carbols - there are 9 of us in the house - they have 4 kids and are legal guardians of 2 others, so its just like being at home. I have a big room in the basement, and share a bathroom with Sarah, we also have our own tv and snooker table! and they have a kitchen almost like at home in the uk, but they dont have an aga!!
If you want to send goodies or presents or even letters send to:
Dame Rosie Honeywell
4093 w29 Ave,
Vancouver, BC,
V6S 1V4
telephone: 604-222-9550
e-mail: rosie@pgcc.org
Please pray for me for strength and wisedom as well as finances for myself and the team as we start this year.
Monday, July 02, 2007
Home
is wet!! and busy!!!
anyway im back in the UK for the summer with a pretty busy schedule.
im sorry i havent written on here for ages, and update soon for sure, i need some time to sort my head out and collect my ramblings and but them in a decent blog!!
Prayer points:
*My VISA still hasnt arrived its had over 37 working days - the time it takes apperently - since last week!
*finances
anyway im back in the UK for the summer with a pretty busy schedule.
im sorry i havent written on here for ages, and update soon for sure, i need some time to sort my head out and collect my ramblings and but them in a decent blog!!
Prayer points:
*My VISA still hasnt arrived its had over 37 working days - the time it takes apperently - since last week!
*finances
Sunday, June 03, 2007
ohppps!
So theres been a lack of blogging, replying to e-mails and all sorts during may, and now june! Ive been busy - whats new - with youth events, concerts and general life.
So to put an end to this im blogging, while tanning on the deck! woop!
Over the May Long Weekend, the youth group headed up to Chilliwack for a youth conference called History Maker (www.historymaker.hm), so we camped by a river with plenty of tarps, because it rainied the whole time until we left! Tons of stories about slugs, smores, breakfasts and of course history maker if you intrested.
Then the next week - Friday 25th, Kris, Angela, Mellisa, Tim and I headed to the Thunderbird Stadium up at UBC to hear Hillsong United and Phill Dooley. An awesome service with around 4,000 people. The worship was immense and I know God did stuff in me, and im sure in loads of others as well!
Oh and my dad came to visit between HM and Hillsong, so there was plenty of nice dinners and even a trip to vancouver island on the 26th. Very good, he stocked me up with custard, branston pickle, money(i paid him back though) and other goodies :) pictures will follow when i return to england because yeah he has most of the cool ones of RCMP's and things on his camera!
Pais has been awesome, and this is out final full week! scary! I wil miss the students and the schools of the summer, although its looking promising for next year and we have met with the princple of Bayview elementary and its looking good for next year :) Youth group rock, its been slightly odd we have only have had 2 since history maker but we have cleaned a car, eaten pancakes and had gone down to pray at a stabbing site, all in all im pretty proud of them! awesome bunch that they are :)
Over the next 2 weeks, i have graduation, mush and moo face, saying goodbye to the schools and generally crazyness, should be fun although this friday will be my last youth group untill septemeber :(
Yesterday, Anne, Dennis and I headed out to Richmond for BBQ's, DQ cake and Anne family goodness! We then headed to steveston a 'fishing village' and brought some prawns so we had prawns for dinner and i hated pulling their legs off, luckly we brought them without heads! erugh i wouldnt have coped!!
So to put an end to this im blogging, while tanning on the deck! woop!
Over the May Long Weekend, the youth group headed up to Chilliwack for a youth conference called History Maker (www.historymaker.hm), so we camped by a river with plenty of tarps, because it rainied the whole time until we left! Tons of stories about slugs, smores, breakfasts and of course history maker if you intrested.
Then the next week - Friday 25th, Kris, Angela, Mellisa, Tim and I headed to the Thunderbird Stadium up at UBC to hear Hillsong United and Phill Dooley. An awesome service with around 4,000 people. The worship was immense and I know God did stuff in me, and im sure in loads of others as well!
Oh and my dad came to visit between HM and Hillsong, so there was plenty of nice dinners and even a trip to vancouver island on the 26th. Very good, he stocked me up with custard, branston pickle, money(i paid him back though) and other goodies :) pictures will follow when i return to england because yeah he has most of the cool ones of RCMP's and things on his camera!
Pais has been awesome, and this is out final full week! scary! I wil miss the students and the schools of the summer, although its looking promising for next year and we have met with the princple of Bayview elementary and its looking good for next year :) Youth group rock, its been slightly odd we have only have had 2 since history maker but we have cleaned a car, eaten pancakes and had gone down to pray at a stabbing site, all in all im pretty proud of them! awesome bunch that they are :)
Over the next 2 weeks, i have graduation, mush and moo face, saying goodbye to the schools and generally crazyness, should be fun although this friday will be my last youth group untill septemeber :(
Yesterday, Anne, Dennis and I headed out to Richmond for BBQ's, DQ cake and Anne family goodness! We then headed to steveston a 'fishing village' and brought some prawns so we had prawns for dinner and i hated pulling their legs off, luckly we brought them without heads! erugh i wouldnt have coped!!
Tuesday, May 08, 2007
newsletter!
the beauty of macs and ease of creating ncie lookign stuff in like 2 secs!
Oh Tom joined the Mac club! Which is just wicked!!
So ive sent my visa of, its in the hands of canada post and the visa offices, so please be praying for that!
yesterday the weather was awesome, so i went and worked on the beach, no such luck today :(
Its nearing the end of the year, which is scary! but good! with HM, my dad visiting, Hillsong United, then Mush and Gemma, I sure summers gonna come round fast and hit me in the face! but then go by just as quick..
Please take time to read the newsletter - if you click on the image the get bigger.. wow magic!
Oh Tom joined the Mac club! Which is just wicked!!
So ive sent my visa of, its in the hands of canada post and the visa offices, so please be praying for that!
yesterday the weather was awesome, so i went and worked on the beach, no such luck today :(
Its nearing the end of the year, which is scary! but good! with HM, my dad visiting, Hillsong United, then Mush and Gemma, I sure summers gonna come round fast and hit me in the face! but then go by just as quick..
Please take time to read the newsletter - if you click on the image the get bigger.. wow magic!
Wednesday, May 02, 2007
not impressed...
... so life looks up then life looks down
right now im really peed off because along with everything else, first of all work jeans pair 1 get a hole in - thats ok i have another pair to wear until i go shopping on saturday, lifes good, then work jeans pair 2 get a hole in the knee today, so i head to the bank with kris after youth, praying there will be no trouble - cos its a new cashpoint card - and YET again Lloyds bank have failed me and i cant get my money out, no doubt in a few days i will recieve an e-mail from my dad saying my account has been flashed up for fraud AGAIN, this will be the 3rd time since setting foot in Vancouver, when I INFORMED the dumb people before I left and it is on my records that i am living here.... GRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR I am soooooo angry with them its unbelieveable...
...yet God knows this stuff is happening cos for 3 days in a row i have wicked stuff from family and friends in the post
*monday - postcard from povey :)
*tuesday - letter and bookmarks from Becky :P cats woop!
*wednesday - letters from mum. postcard from dad and bag and gown from japan - i was seething as i walked through the door then i saw the airmail packets my dad uses and was like sweeet :)
and gemma's booked her flight out :) plus we had a pretty cool assembly today- first one as team! woop! woot woot!
so at youth tonight we looked at Ecclesiastes and i DARE you to look into it to! have fun and be challenged:
Ecclesiastes 5 v 1- 7
• Pick out something that really hits you. Why? Discuss (promises, mouth stuff, links with james and 2 tim)
• How does this passage make you feel about your own life?
Ecclesiastes 11 v 9-10, 12 v 1-7
• We HAVE to account to God for EVERYTHING we do, does that scare us? Intimidate us? How would we live our lives differently if we knew we had a 24hr camera on us? (we do btw) what would we change? Do we need Gods help?
we are told to HAVE fun.. not sit in our rooms all day! come on!
• Pick out something that really hits you. Why? Discuss (young as we may seem, dont let this stop us, us it for God's kingdom, before we get too old, maturity within this)
• How does this passage make you feel about your own life?
• Whats important?
• We NEED to be on focus, on task, full on in love with God, NOW, TODAY. How can we do this as a group? – brainstorm, As indivudals..
right now im really peed off because along with everything else, first of all work jeans pair 1 get a hole in - thats ok i have another pair to wear until i go shopping on saturday, lifes good, then work jeans pair 2 get a hole in the knee today, so i head to the bank with kris after youth, praying there will be no trouble - cos its a new cashpoint card - and YET again Lloyds bank have failed me and i cant get my money out, no doubt in a few days i will recieve an e-mail from my dad saying my account has been flashed up for fraud AGAIN, this will be the 3rd time since setting foot in Vancouver, when I INFORMED the dumb people before I left and it is on my records that i am living here.... GRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR I am soooooo angry with them its unbelieveable...
...yet God knows this stuff is happening cos for 3 days in a row i have wicked stuff from family and friends in the post
*monday - postcard from povey :)
*tuesday - letter and bookmarks from Becky :P cats woop!
*wednesday - letters from mum. postcard from dad and bag and gown from japan - i was seething as i walked through the door then i saw the airmail packets my dad uses and was like sweeet :)
and gemma's booked her flight out :) plus we had a pretty cool assembly today- first one as team! woop! woot woot!
so at youth tonight we looked at Ecclesiastes and i DARE you to look into it to! have fun and be challenged:
Ecclesiastes 5 v 1- 7
• Pick out something that really hits you. Why? Discuss (promises, mouth stuff, links with james and 2 tim)
• How does this passage make you feel about your own life?
Ecclesiastes 11 v 9-10, 12 v 1-7
• We HAVE to account to God for EVERYTHING we do, does that scare us? Intimidate us? How would we live our lives differently if we knew we had a 24hr camera on us? (we do btw) what would we change? Do we need Gods help?
we are told to HAVE fun.. not sit in our rooms all day! come on!
• Pick out something that really hits you. Why? Discuss (young as we may seem, dont let this stop us, us it for God's kingdom, before we get too old, maturity within this)
• How does this passage make you feel about your own life?
• Whats important?
• We NEED to be on focus, on task, full on in love with God, NOW, TODAY. How can we do this as a group? – brainstorm, As indivudals..
Monday, April 30, 2007
yes life is...
...confusing, tough, diffcult.
so i again havent posted for a while, lifes being throwing things at me from all angles, battling them off doesnt seem to be the soultion to the issue, ive gotta get down to the root. theres been so many times in the past few weeks, when ive wanted to weep but had no tears, or when ive had to hold tears back cause im in public. so whats battling at me? my own stuff i should leave beind i guess, friends with problems coming from all directions. well we all know whoose having a go at me, reality is starting to sink in that YES i have commited another year to Vancouver, as i start to fill in forms for visa renewal and the task ahead starts to daunt me... responsable for a team, fun yes, scary yes, exciting yes, can i do it yes with God's help. but first i have to get through the summer in england alive.. weddings, clashes with dates, beach trips, catching up with old friends, being their for them, sorting out my own issues, training keeping up with life in vancouver, summer is going to be full pelt! plus i need to raise awareness of my financal situation for next year - erm no money - and the need for prayer and covering.
i blogged a while ago about intergity and purity in all aspects aspects of your life, right now im standing on the edge peering into a huge deep hole, which should be filled by a mentor/accountbilty partner or whatever you call it. failing at one of my biggest 'pet' loves is not an easy task. walls have been built long ago to protect me from people gettting close and old wounds being brought up and dealt with. yeah i used to open up to all of 2 very special people - both from the same family ha ha- but for a while now, even long before i left england ive being putting my self in this huge metal protective bubble, ridding my self of any need/want/desire to sort my life out and get back on path. God's hinted a few times since i left england of his desire for me to sort stuff out for once and for all, to throw it away and to stop the ties bringing me down, but i just cant seem to pay attention for long enough and run away scared in the other direction, how many times has he told me to go sit on the beach and reflect on his wonder and goodness but i have always found an excuse to not go. the plane jounery back to england was a wake up and again i felt this huge urge to get stuff sorted but then the guilt kicked in and i never let anyone see the true effect it had on me. its like i cant deal with stuff, i have to be strong. ok admitted i havent found anyone i can open up to, but that shouldnt stop me i should seek to form the relationships right? things really hit home when tom, amy and i went through my report - long story tom was like so late with the 1st term, that we did 2 together therefore we had a meeting anyhows - it was uncomfortable i hated every second, expect when he had something critical to say about me, which i could then accept, agree on and in the long become a better person right, the issue was the good stuff, odd as it may seem, i just cant accept it, i look at it as lies..it was the most diffcult thing ever, and mulling it over since i see some areas which need to be addressed before i can even really see the report of what its worth, it will be a long tough hard jounry but worth every minute. lonely, stressful, agonising, painful, hurtful, refreshing, renewing, but i cant do it alone, i need your prayer, guidance, comfort and knowledge. i cant go on with this stupid 'im ok' face on all the time. i look back over the years and think oh my gosh how far have i come, i cant believe it, then i think crap i havent gone far at all, i still battle with thoughts of s.h, though i get know where near it, someone once said the flash backs are the worst, how honestly can i say i agree.
on a brighter note, yesterday was amazing, i went to Langely (my first time) with anne and dennis for annes nephew - brad and devin's baptisms, awesome, worship took me right back home at the first song, then i moved switfly back to canada, but felt at home again after more english songs lol! then an afternoon in the sun eating and drinking wine woot wooot! specialness :) THEN a drive through - 'country roads' to white rock... oh the green, lambs, cows, horses!! woop finally after all this time some green! i thought i was in heaven! i knew i missed the countryside but not never much until we where driving through the wind in my hair even though they had poxy little bends!
pais and youth are awesome as ever, making me tick and get up in the morning :) i just love building relationships with the students and i am sad to say that in 6 weeks we wont be in eric hamber as Pais::Westside as tenth ave church is leaving me to go to Pais::Eastside! humpf is all i can say to that lol!
i dont quite know the point of this blog, i high hopes for it but they dwindled! maybe just maybe i will add more i do feel like i need to add something!
OHHHHHH!!!! I am staying in the uk a week longer in the summer, in town untill the 18th August.. and guess what Im flying FIRST CLASS to training in Dallas!!!! WOOOOO!! i love my dad :)
so i again havent posted for a while, lifes being throwing things at me from all angles, battling them off doesnt seem to be the soultion to the issue, ive gotta get down to the root. theres been so many times in the past few weeks, when ive wanted to weep but had no tears, or when ive had to hold tears back cause im in public. so whats battling at me? my own stuff i should leave beind i guess, friends with problems coming from all directions. well we all know whoose having a go at me, reality is starting to sink in that YES i have commited another year to Vancouver, as i start to fill in forms for visa renewal and the task ahead starts to daunt me... responsable for a team, fun yes, scary yes, exciting yes, can i do it yes with God's help. but first i have to get through the summer in england alive.. weddings, clashes with dates, beach trips, catching up with old friends, being their for them, sorting out my own issues, training keeping up with life in vancouver, summer is going to be full pelt! plus i need to raise awareness of my financal situation for next year - erm no money - and the need for prayer and covering.
i blogged a while ago about intergity and purity in all aspects aspects of your life, right now im standing on the edge peering into a huge deep hole, which should be filled by a mentor/accountbilty partner or whatever you call it. failing at one of my biggest 'pet' loves is not an easy task. walls have been built long ago to protect me from people gettting close and old wounds being brought up and dealt with. yeah i used to open up to all of 2 very special people - both from the same family ha ha- but for a while now, even long before i left england ive being putting my self in this huge metal protective bubble, ridding my self of any need/want/desire to sort my life out and get back on path. God's hinted a few times since i left england of his desire for me to sort stuff out for once and for all, to throw it away and to stop the ties bringing me down, but i just cant seem to pay attention for long enough and run away scared in the other direction, how many times has he told me to go sit on the beach and reflect on his wonder and goodness but i have always found an excuse to not go. the plane jounery back to england was a wake up and again i felt this huge urge to get stuff sorted but then the guilt kicked in and i never let anyone see the true effect it had on me. its like i cant deal with stuff, i have to be strong. ok admitted i havent found anyone i can open up to, but that shouldnt stop me i should seek to form the relationships right? things really hit home when tom, amy and i went through my report - long story tom was like so late with the 1st term, that we did 2 together therefore we had a meeting anyhows - it was uncomfortable i hated every second, expect when he had something critical to say about me, which i could then accept, agree on and in the long become a better person right, the issue was the good stuff, odd as it may seem, i just cant accept it, i look at it as lies..it was the most diffcult thing ever, and mulling it over since i see some areas which need to be addressed before i can even really see the report of what its worth, it will be a long tough hard jounry but worth every minute. lonely, stressful, agonising, painful, hurtful, refreshing, renewing, but i cant do it alone, i need your prayer, guidance, comfort and knowledge. i cant go on with this stupid 'im ok' face on all the time. i look back over the years and think oh my gosh how far have i come, i cant believe it, then i think crap i havent gone far at all, i still battle with thoughts of s.h, though i get know where near it, someone once said the flash backs are the worst, how honestly can i say i agree.
on a brighter note, yesterday was amazing, i went to Langely (my first time) with anne and dennis for annes nephew - brad and devin's baptisms, awesome, worship took me right back home at the first song, then i moved switfly back to canada, but felt at home again after more english songs lol! then an afternoon in the sun eating and drinking wine woot wooot! specialness :) THEN a drive through - 'country roads' to white rock... oh the green, lambs, cows, horses!! woop finally after all this time some green! i thought i was in heaven! i knew i missed the countryside but not never much until we where driving through the wind in my hair even though they had poxy little bends!
pais and youth are awesome as ever, making me tick and get up in the morning :) i just love building relationships with the students and i am sad to say that in 6 weeks we wont be in eric hamber as Pais::Westside as tenth ave church is leaving me to go to Pais::Eastside! humpf is all i can say to that lol!
i dont quite know the point of this blog, i high hopes for it but they dwindled! maybe just maybe i will add more i do feel like i need to add something!
OHHHHHH!!!! I am staying in the uk a week longer in the summer, in town untill the 18th August.. and guess what Im flying FIRST CLASS to training in Dallas!!!! WOOOOO!! i love my dad :)
Thursday, April 19, 2007
video
.. erm an odd video made by miss hicks, staring me and denai, amongst others, keep your eyes peeled though cos its fast lol:P
Saturday, April 07, 2007
ooo dennis..
..
he is old, but thats no excuse!
he makes me laugh like crazy! he burnt a dvd and was using label maker and pondering why it wasnt working... he expected it to transfer the image on his screen to the disc while in his computer! oh man! he has sooo much to learn!
he also wrecked my childhood while we where dicussing Dennis The Meance.. it turns out the US one is blond and innocent - i.e. he doesnt mean to be bad, personally i like mine better... and then we found out the where created in the same week, i feel deprived! I am going to search for a Beano to enlighten them!
he is old, but thats no excuse!
he makes me laugh like crazy! he burnt a dvd and was using label maker and pondering why it wasnt working... he expected it to transfer the image on his screen to the disc while in his computer! oh man! he has sooo much to learn!
he also wrecked my childhood while we where dicussing Dennis The Meance.. it turns out the US one is blond and innocent - i.e. he doesnt mean to be bad, personally i like mine better... and then we found out the where created in the same week, i feel deprived! I am going to search for a Beano to enlighten them!
Friday, April 06, 2007
ohps
i havent blogged for ages!
so dom came out for spring break and we did stuff like science world and had an awesome time. we went ice skating - ha as anyone ever seen me on ice.. well i manged to get round the rink without holding the side, i must say i think i did pretty good. we also went to Donna and Roy's for moose and buffalo! woooop!
he also brought supplies:
* 3 x tins of baked beans
* branston pickle - im running out! arghghgh
* catherdal city cheese
* mini eggs
now im on a 4 day weekend which is sweet: i have my english cadburys crunchie egg, english cadbury mini eggs but no creme eggs :( ooh i got a easter card from MUSH :)
pais has been busy we need a sex ed class for grade 8 boys last friday! amy has been sick this week so its been pretty much me and denai which has been cool, different lol!
tom went to england so me, kris and tanis sorted out youth group which was good, we did youth in a mall, actions - we got kris mucky! hopefully photos to follow, and pay if forward, with some amazing developments happenign, but tom has not been told yet so watch this space!
so dom came out for spring break and we did stuff like science world and had an awesome time. we went ice skating - ha as anyone ever seen me on ice.. well i manged to get round the rink without holding the side, i must say i think i did pretty good. we also went to Donna and Roy's for moose and buffalo! woooop!
he also brought supplies:
* 3 x tins of baked beans
* branston pickle - im running out! arghghgh
* catherdal city cheese
* mini eggs
now im on a 4 day weekend which is sweet: i have my english cadburys crunchie egg, english cadbury mini eggs but no creme eggs :( ooh i got a easter card from MUSH :)
pais has been busy we need a sex ed class for grade 8 boys last friday! amy has been sick this week so its been pretty much me and denai which has been cool, different lol!
tom went to england so me, kris and tanis sorted out youth group which was good, we did youth in a mall, actions - we got kris mucky! hopefully photos to follow, and pay if forward, with some amazing developments happenign, but tom has not been told yet so watch this space!
Thursday, March 29, 2007
congratulations..
... to Where On Earth...
for getting through to the second round of the surface unsigned do dah wotsit!
they even got a nice review from bbc man (http://www.surfaceunsigned.co.uk/midlandsReviews.html):
Where On Earth – Qualified
Arriving with a bus load of fans, its easy to see why Northampton based Where On Earth have such a following. Their sound is pop-punk, yet the energy and talent within the band distinguish them in a crowded genre. Excellent layered vocal harmonies, hooky guitars, exceptional percussion and intelligent lyrics combine with their animated stage performance for a compelling whole. Well-written danceable tracks with catchy sing-along choruses, they have the makings of pop-punk anthems. Be sure to check them out in the second round.
To find out more about the band, or to hear their demos, visit
http://www.myspace.com/whereonearthband
Also check out http://www.indiestore.com where they were picked from thousands of bands for featured download status by NME, Rolling Stone and MixMag columnists!
Check out their music i would say its pretty awesome, i do like it! www.whereonearth.net
for getting through to the second round of the surface unsigned do dah wotsit!
they even got a nice review from bbc man (http://www.surfaceunsigned.co.uk/midlandsReviews.html):
Where On Earth – Qualified
Arriving with a bus load of fans, its easy to see why Northampton based Where On Earth have such a following. Their sound is pop-punk, yet the energy and talent within the band distinguish them in a crowded genre. Excellent layered vocal harmonies, hooky guitars, exceptional percussion and intelligent lyrics combine with their animated stage performance for a compelling whole. Well-written danceable tracks with catchy sing-along choruses, they have the makings of pop-punk anthems. Be sure to check them out in the second round.
To find out more about the band, or to hear their demos, visit
http://www.myspace.com/whereonearthband
Also check out http://www.indiestore.com where they were picked from thousands of bands for featured download status by NME, Rolling Stone and MixMag columnists!
Check out their music i would say its pretty awesome, i do like it! www.whereonearth.net
Sunday, March 18, 2007
humm
(so dom arrived yesterday, all is good :) )
hum i have just been watching the pais:thailand updates, its making my heart pump like crazy, i know however i am not called to move from canada yet, but i cant wait for the bigger picture and the other countries God is placing in my heart, where-ever they are. its so exciting! he he where next i wonder.. i do feel it will a 3rd world country.. who knows...maybe i go to uni first.. maybe i dont..
hum i have just been watching the pais:thailand updates, its making my heart pump like crazy, i know however i am not called to move from canada yet, but i cant wait for the bigger picture and the other countries God is placing in my heart, where-ever they are. its so exciting! he he where next i wonder.. i do feel it will a 3rd world country.. who knows...maybe i go to uni first.. maybe i dont..
Wednesday, March 14, 2007
whats going on in the crazy world of Rosie...
1. Anne and Dennis have left me for 3 weeks, so I have to look after Chloe and pick up her poo, its disgusting! I am very proud of myself as I managed to cook using a common oven, I was slightly stuck but managed Spag. Bol., Lasange and Shepards Pie wooop :)
2. Rose turned 19 woop :) oh dear last year of being teenagers what will we do... how can we make it special ooo I know, agree to stay on Pais :)
3. Plans to surprise people back home fell through as the flight got booked up! Thanks for the offer of the lift Sam, I am upset I cant take you up on it :( however my little brother dom might be coming out, and skiving school wooop :) watch this space in the next half and hour. maybe he'll bring gifts of baked beans and branston pickle.. hint hint
3.5. I recieved a belated present from Laura, which is rocking woo I can get my hair cut! I also got a 'daddy pack' with dan's address, i got some very nice cats notelets - they look posh they have wrapping stuff thing to protect them lol - a dib dap (the only edible thing left), jelly beans, wine gums, tolberone and i think that it. I then got my new bank card yesterday and he sent me $20 to go buy a burger for me and rose so i will spend it on her dinner tongight :) arent I blessed by my insane random family.
4. Im team leading again this week, and poor Denai is sick again! Its rather annoying bless her, so please pray for her healing.
5. Youth's pretty awesome, they are cool really. Sam, Kyle, Ken and Holly helped lead UTown in worship on sunday, I was uber impressed, the best worship since coming to vancouver I think... well in a church service for definate. Tom's off to england so we are taking them to a mall on friday, wont that be fun, i do wonder what havoc they will cause and how quickly! Oooo Tom becomes a canadian on thrusday how exciting.. History Maker stuff is starting to get arranged and the beining stages of a mission trip to mexico are in the pipeline, if you could be praying for this that would be great. heres a note from tanis:
This August I will be taking a handful of youth down to the Baja in Mexico to build houses for the Indigenous people in that area.
What is this about?
I NEED YOU HELP.
we need to book flights from Vancouver to San diego:
- Do you know anyone in the airline industry i could speak to to propose deals/discount/sponsorship for cheaper flights?
Funds for the trip and the cost of building the house;
- Do you feel called to donate money towards this event?
- Do you know a company or work for a company that might want to sponsor/donate towards this?
Food;
- Do you know someone in the 'food industry' that might want to donate food for the group of youth on the trip - to save costs that way for them.
Clothing? Toys?
- if you have good clothing that you want to donate, or toys for the children in the area - we would love to take them down there for you...
Anything else?
Any other way you might feel inspired to help with this trip - ideas on fundraising, please message me and let me know.
6. next year... we have a meeting tomorrow to find out more, but I will be Area Leader for the Westside. Rose, Ali, Jenna and Rebekka are staying, wont that be sweet.
7. schools.. whats happening.. after spring break we do a sex ed session in Eric Hamber, and we move the games mini at Uhill over the youth room at Uchapel, we are also looking to start a group in a basement for the Christians at Kitts, this depends on the interest from the students. Things are pretty exciting, we have seen students from Uhill attend the friday night cafe at Uchapel :)
8. we had a training session on reaching asian students, and then we went out for beef noodle soup, its was pretty yummy and seems to be the new westside team pet fave!
yet again I've been thinking about my role and who God's called me to be, this time Vision keeps coming up, what is my vision and where am I going in that, what places/things has he placed on my heart and why? (countries or minstries), how does this determine how I live now? And where does this fit with the Pais vision (which it does lol). What do I see myself doing, and is that God's plan or my plan.. And what about summer, how do I mould and shape it in such a way that I get the practial things done as well as living in my vision constantly. what about when I get rubbed up the wrong way? or treat family wrong, because I fall back into the mindset of home.. ermmm
2. Rose turned 19 woop :) oh dear last year of being teenagers what will we do... how can we make it special ooo I know, agree to stay on Pais :)
3. Plans to surprise people back home fell through as the flight got booked up! Thanks for the offer of the lift Sam, I am upset I cant take you up on it :( however my little brother dom might be coming out, and skiving school wooop :) watch this space in the next half and hour. maybe he'll bring gifts of baked beans and branston pickle.. hint hint
3.5. I recieved a belated present from Laura, which is rocking woo I can get my hair cut! I also got a 'daddy pack' with dan's address, i got some very nice cats notelets - they look posh they have wrapping stuff thing to protect them lol - a dib dap (the only edible thing left), jelly beans, wine gums, tolberone and i think that it. I then got my new bank card yesterday and he sent me $20 to go buy a burger for me and rose so i will spend it on her dinner tongight :) arent I blessed by my insane random family.
4. Im team leading again this week, and poor Denai is sick again! Its rather annoying bless her, so please pray for her healing.
5. Youth's pretty awesome, they are cool really. Sam, Kyle, Ken and Holly helped lead UTown in worship on sunday, I was uber impressed, the best worship since coming to vancouver I think... well in a church service for definate. Tom's off to england so we are taking them to a mall on friday, wont that be fun, i do wonder what havoc they will cause and how quickly! Oooo Tom becomes a canadian on thrusday how exciting.. History Maker stuff is starting to get arranged and the beining stages of a mission trip to mexico are in the pipeline, if you could be praying for this that would be great. heres a note from tanis:
This August I will be taking a handful of youth down to the Baja in Mexico to build houses for the Indigenous people in that area.
What is this about?
I NEED YOU HELP.
we need to book flights from Vancouver to San diego:
- Do you know anyone in the airline industry i could speak to to propose deals/discount/sponsorship for cheaper flights?
Funds for the trip and the cost of building the house;
- Do you feel called to donate money towards this event?
- Do you know a company or work for a company that might want to sponsor/donate towards this?
Food;
- Do you know someone in the 'food industry' that might want to donate food for the group of youth on the trip - to save costs that way for them.
Clothing? Toys?
- if you have good clothing that you want to donate, or toys for the children in the area - we would love to take them down there for you...
Anything else?
Any other way you might feel inspired to help with this trip - ideas on fundraising, please message me and let me know.
6. next year... we have a meeting tomorrow to find out more, but I will be Area Leader for the Westside. Rose, Ali, Jenna and Rebekka are staying, wont that be sweet.
7. schools.. whats happening.. after spring break we do a sex ed session in Eric Hamber, and we move the games mini at Uhill over the youth room at Uchapel, we are also looking to start a group in a basement for the Christians at Kitts, this depends on the interest from the students. Things are pretty exciting, we have seen students from Uhill attend the friday night cafe at Uchapel :)
8. we had a training session on reaching asian students, and then we went out for beef noodle soup, its was pretty yummy and seems to be the new westside team pet fave!
yet again I've been thinking about my role and who God's called me to be, this time Vision keeps coming up, what is my vision and where am I going in that, what places/things has he placed on my heart and why? (countries or minstries), how does this determine how I live now? And where does this fit with the Pais vision (which it does lol). What do I see myself doing, and is that God's plan or my plan.. And what about summer, how do I mould and shape it in such a way that I get the practial things done as well as living in my vision constantly. what about when I get rubbed up the wrong way? or treat family wrong, because I fall back into the mindset of home.. ermmm
Friday, March 02, 2007
thanks..
....for all your prayers and support, it means a lot to me. my decision has been made....
so if your canadian i feel sorry for and if your english your lucky...!
... Im staying in Canada for another year!
now im off to sleep because im ill.. which means i cant go snowtubing tomorrow, so im slightly annoyed.. i do have to go to the post office over the road to collect some silly letter, honestly could be sent that needs signing for.. i havent got a clue im not expecting anything.. best be worth it lol!
so if your canadian i feel sorry for and if your english your lucky...!
... Im staying in Canada for another year!
now im off to sleep because im ill.. which means i cant go snowtubing tomorrow, so im slightly annoyed.. i do have to go to the post office over the road to collect some silly letter, honestly could be sent that needs signing for.. i havent got a clue im not expecting anything.. best be worth it lol!
Friday, February 23, 2007
options, options, options...
...or choices, choices, choices
ok so this next week is going to be pretty big for me, i'd really appreicate your thoughts and prayers.
i have decided about to do next year:
* do i stay i as feel i should, with no way of funding my self, just trusting in God, and therefore going against my parents wishes
OR
* do i go back to england and go to uni, which i dont really want to do, but my parents and tom (sorry i had to name you) think is the option what would make sense, cos of degree n stuff
now normally id go straight with what i feel called to do (and to be honest thats proberly what i will do) but i know how my parents feel and it feels slightly wrong! i guess we can agrue you it out tomorrow.
so whats God being doing recently:
*defining who He is in me and through me
*expanding my calling - which im pretty stoked about btw!
*making me think hugely.
so whats purity and intergity? what do they really honestly mean...how i can live a God filled life all the time, living up the calling in places such as Romans 12, James, Ephesians etc. the high standards of moral living, and what is a high standard of moral living in todays standards, so much has changed, that it makes this calling all the more important to live up to, and set the standard for. what we called 'good' today would have been considered totally wrong back in the day. so i guess that meta ethics for you, what do words actually mean...
i know God's calling me to be different, to stand out, stand up and to go against the flow, but what does that look like, and how do i pick myself back up when i fail and fall so short of the standard God has placed in my life. Ive been set apart for a purpose but do i fulfill that to my ful potential or am i just getting by? how do i increase my capcity..
Purity - FREEDOM from adulation or contamination, freedom from immortality especially of a sexual nature.
Pure: wholesome. authentic bright, classic, clear, complete, fair, flawless, natural, neat, perfect, plain, real, simple, straight, total, transparent, true, twenty-four carat*, unadulterated, unalloyed, unclouded, undiluted, unmingled, unmixed, unpolluted, unsoiled, unspotted, unstained, unsullied, untainted, untarnished,
blessed, blameless, celibate, chaste, cherry, clean, continent, decent, exemplary, fresh, good, honest, immaculate, inculpable, innocent, inviolate, irreproachable, kid, lily white*, maidenly, modest, righteous, sinless, spotless, stainless, true, unblemished, unblighted, uncorrupted, undefiled, unprofaned, unspotted, unstained, unsullied, upright, virgin, virtuous, wide-eyed
Purity in relationships stems from having a pure heart, and should automatically be a consequence of having a pure heart = the two should go hand in hand. But purity is a lifestyle not just one part of our life.
-Psalm 51v 6-7 - purify means? do we fully understand the signficance...
-Psalm 86 v 11 - pure heart, are we honouring God?
-Psalm 119 v 9 - obey
-Matthew 5v8 - pure heart = seeing God
-Colossians 3 v 5-17 - change in the way we live
-Ephesians 5 v 3 - are we living up to God's standard? (read around this oen too)
-Galatians 5 v19 –26 - To have self control is to have purity – because you guard your heart. You will not inherit the kingdom of God if you are impure.
-1 Timothy 4:11-13 - called to set the example
-Psalm 119 v 1-3 - blessed with joy when you have intergrity
Gods calling for us to be pure in everything we do. Once we have pure minds and pure hearts he can work fully through us, and use us to advance his kingdom. A pure heart, means integrity in all areas of our lives, guarding our minds, tongues, actions, be careful about the company we keep, the music we listen to, the things we watch.
Intergity is purity across the board in all areas of our lifes, where am i slipping up? what areas have lowers standards then other areas? would i want people to follow my example and go my path?
so what does this mean for me? i guess making all areas of my life have the same high standard that im trying to reach. relationship wise:
*treating family and friends how they deserve to be treated, being open and honest and caring for them
*lads - well i cant date woop, but what signals am i giving out regardless. i have some amazing friendships with lads that people might seem to precieve as odd, well im sorry contiune to precieve it as odd, i do honestly with my whole heart feel God has placed me with these people for a reason, and we bond cos we are meant to, and yeah i will continue to speak into their lifes and love the pieces, christian or non-christian.
mindest wise:
*telling girls they are beauitful etc etc you know good old youth group stuff, but then not actually believing it for myself causes a huge issue, even if i do honestly think they are beauitful etc etc. so where do i go from here.. theres a tons of issues to deal with, one step at a time i say!
*prayer, worship and word - to keep it up no matter how busy, i have had some of the most amazing prayer times this week, because i created space out of the busyness from a pressing on my heart, yet when im not so busy they dont seem to go down as well.. funny that huh! so yeah thats got to be kept up.
* im sure ill think of more when its not midnight! so keep your eyes peeled on this section..
God keeps making me read and re-read proverbs 1,2 and 3
proverbs 1 v 20 - 25 says
'Wisdom shouts in the streets.
She cries out in the public square.
She calls to the crowds along
the main street,
to those gathered in front of the
city gate:
''How long, you simpletons,
will you insist on being simpleminded?
How long will you mockers relish
your mocking?
How long will you fools hate
knowledge?
Come and listen to my counsel.
I'll share my heart with you
and make you wise.
I called you so often, but
you wouldnt come.
I reached out to you, but you paid
no attention.
You ignored my advice
and rejected and correction I offered.'
ok so this next week is going to be pretty big for me, i'd really appreicate your thoughts and prayers.
i have decided about to do next year:
* do i stay i as feel i should, with no way of funding my self, just trusting in God, and therefore going against my parents wishes
OR
* do i go back to england and go to uni, which i dont really want to do, but my parents and tom (sorry i had to name you) think is the option what would make sense, cos of degree n stuff
now normally id go straight with what i feel called to do (and to be honest thats proberly what i will do) but i know how my parents feel and it feels slightly wrong! i guess we can agrue you it out tomorrow.
so whats God being doing recently:
*defining who He is in me and through me
*expanding my calling - which im pretty stoked about btw!
*making me think hugely.
so whats purity and intergity? what do they really honestly mean...how i can live a God filled life all the time, living up the calling in places such as Romans 12, James, Ephesians etc. the high standards of moral living, and what is a high standard of moral living in todays standards, so much has changed, that it makes this calling all the more important to live up to, and set the standard for. what we called 'good' today would have been considered totally wrong back in the day. so i guess that meta ethics for you, what do words actually mean...
i know God's calling me to be different, to stand out, stand up and to go against the flow, but what does that look like, and how do i pick myself back up when i fail and fall so short of the standard God has placed in my life. Ive been set apart for a purpose but do i fulfill that to my ful potential or am i just getting by? how do i increase my capcity..
Purity - FREEDOM from adulation or contamination, freedom from immortality especially of a sexual nature.
Pure: wholesome. authentic bright, classic, clear, complete, fair, flawless, natural, neat, perfect, plain, real, simple, straight, total, transparent, true, twenty-four carat*, unadulterated, unalloyed, unclouded, undiluted, unmingled, unmixed, unpolluted, unsoiled, unspotted, unstained, unsullied, untainted, untarnished,
blessed, blameless, celibate, chaste, cherry, clean, continent, decent, exemplary, fresh, good, honest, immaculate, inculpable, innocent, inviolate, irreproachable, kid, lily white*, maidenly, modest, righteous, sinless, spotless, stainless, true, unblemished, unblighted, uncorrupted, undefiled, unprofaned, unspotted, unstained, unsullied, upright, virgin, virtuous, wide-eyed
Purity in relationships stems from having a pure heart, and should automatically be a consequence of having a pure heart = the two should go hand in hand. But purity is a lifestyle not just one part of our life.
-Psalm 51v 6-7 - purify means? do we fully understand the signficance...
-Psalm 86 v 11 - pure heart, are we honouring God?
-Psalm 119 v 9 - obey
-Matthew 5v8 - pure heart = seeing God
-Colossians 3 v 5-17 - change in the way we live
-Ephesians 5 v 3 - are we living up to God's standard? (read around this oen too)
-Galatians 5 v19 –26 - To have self control is to have purity – because you guard your heart. You will not inherit the kingdom of God if you are impure.
-1 Timothy 4:11-13 - called to set the example
-Psalm 119 v 1-3 - blessed with joy when you have intergrity
Gods calling for us to be pure in everything we do. Once we have pure minds and pure hearts he can work fully through us, and use us to advance his kingdom. A pure heart, means integrity in all areas of our lives, guarding our minds, tongues, actions, be careful about the company we keep, the music we listen to, the things we watch.
Intergity is purity across the board in all areas of our lifes, where am i slipping up? what areas have lowers standards then other areas? would i want people to follow my example and go my path?
so what does this mean for me? i guess making all areas of my life have the same high standard that im trying to reach. relationship wise:
*treating family and friends how they deserve to be treated, being open and honest and caring for them
*lads - well i cant date woop, but what signals am i giving out regardless. i have some amazing friendships with lads that people might seem to precieve as odd, well im sorry contiune to precieve it as odd, i do honestly with my whole heart feel God has placed me with these people for a reason, and we bond cos we are meant to, and yeah i will continue to speak into their lifes and love the pieces, christian or non-christian.
mindest wise:
*telling girls they are beauitful etc etc you know good old youth group stuff, but then not actually believing it for myself causes a huge issue, even if i do honestly think they are beauitful etc etc. so where do i go from here.. theres a tons of issues to deal with, one step at a time i say!
*prayer, worship and word - to keep it up no matter how busy, i have had some of the most amazing prayer times this week, because i created space out of the busyness from a pressing on my heart, yet when im not so busy they dont seem to go down as well.. funny that huh! so yeah thats got to be kept up.
* im sure ill think of more when its not midnight! so keep your eyes peeled on this section..
God keeps making me read and re-read proverbs 1,2 and 3
proverbs 1 v 20 - 25 says
'Wisdom shouts in the streets.
She cries out in the public square.
She calls to the crowds along
the main street,
to those gathered in front of the
city gate:
''How long, you simpletons,
will you insist on being simpleminded?
How long will you mockers relish
your mocking?
How long will you fools hate
knowledge?
Come and listen to my counsel.
I'll share my heart with you
and make you wise.
I called you so often, but
you wouldnt come.
I reached out to you, but you paid
no attention.
You ignored my advice
and rejected and correction I offered.'
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